Don't judge me!

I have been quietly observing people and their reactions to situations, comments, and appearance of things lately. And what I have observed is shocking! Judgment!!!! Why is it so easy to judge before we love? Judge before we pray? Judge before we really know the root of the issue? God has been working in me for the past few months about not being so quick to judge! This blog 100% relates to infertility, adoption, and those going through it....but also in our everyday lives and relationships. I have been in numerous situations where if there is any one person who knows what I have been through I am automatically the center of conversation, questions, and judgment! I understand their curiosity or whatever it may be but it is still very hurtful. I am automatically judged as less than a woman, she can't relate, and so on and so on. I have actually had people be so cruel as to tell me how 'lucky' I am that I didn't ever go through pregnancy, and delivery!!! I understand that they may not have had a pleasant experience, but don't be so quick to judge that everyone will share that feeling! Those kinds of comments make it hard for me to not be judgmental towards them! I just don't understand why I can't just be a mother of two beautiful children who has alot of the same challenges and victories as the rest of the mothers in the world?! Because at the end of the day...that is what it is! I don't know where this 'label' comes from, or how I got it, but I don't like it! People always pry into details of my life, or my children's lives, and just want a juicy tid bit of information to talk about. STOP!!! It doesn't matter about all the how's and why's of ANY situation....let's deal with the facts...I am a mother, same as you and the next person, and that is one label I will never get tired of! The best is when we take a tid bit of the information we pried out of a conversation, and then go and tell others! So by doing this my children get judged! See the cycle forming here?! Prejudice came from pre-judging! It means judging BEFORE you know what you're talking about! So when you see me, if you have questions about our experiences, please email me, call me, or we can meet somewhere and talk about it. That's all I ask...I believe that would be called respect.
"You then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will ALL stand before God's judgment seat." Romans 14:10

Unexpected Loss

I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post...life has been crazy to say the least! I'm back in the swing of things now and hope to make more time to blog! Recently I have been hit with a lot of unexpected loss, or those I care about have been hit with it, and the bottom line...it just sucks! I'm not going to get all "churchy" on you and say that God can use your loss for good, and there is a reason for it, and He will make something beautiful come out of it....but I will share with you how He has used my losses for His good, His glory and He has made me glad through it all! With any loss I believe everyone goes through all the stages of grieving. While some of us can fly through them and seem to move on, some of us can't get past the denial or the anger. I will admit I am one of the latter. I have experienced more loss in the past few months than I ever thought one could endure. While I wallowed in my anger and denial, God was working in me, gently and lovingly guiding me back to where He wants me to be. He has taught me things about myself, my husband, my family, my friends and my children that I was either too blind or too dumb to see before now. While I have been angry, hurt, and broken for months, He has been working in me to understand what He wants to give me...if I am willing to accept it. His LOVE! While I know I am still a work in progress, and I still have my struggles and hard times, I know these things to be true: God loves me, God wants to be a part of my life, God wants me to know Him, God wants to shower me with His blessings and love...ME! Why me? I haven't done anything even remotely close to deserving His love, His acceptence, or His grace...but He gives it freely to me! WOW!!!! Go back and re read that if you have to...He wants the same from you! God, the creator of the universe, the Savior of the world, the one who held the Earth in His hands, the one who died for ME....wow! He doesn't want us to hurt, or be angry or be sad...or so heartbroken that we can't even see straight...but sometimes He allows us to experience those losses, so we can get a better picture of His love, and His perfect plan for our lives. We have lost two children, one before our adoptions, and one after. I don't think there is ever a greater hurt, or greater loss, than that of a child. But I can look back at our lives then and look at them now, and I can HONESTLY say that the Lord knew EXACTLY what He was doing when He allowed us to experience those losses. Even though I am still trying, in my small little worldly mind, to make sense of the recent losses I can already see the glimmer of hope that is in Christ Jesus, through these losses! He will make your heart new, if you let Him, and He will comfort and sustain you! "Surely God is my help, the Lord is the one who sustains me." Psalm 54:4