Holiday Cheer...yeah right!!!!

For many years the holidays were really hard. Nothing seemed to bring me the "holiday cheer" everyone else had. At Thanksgiving it was hard to find something to be thankful for, even though I knew I had SO much to be thankful for, my heart was aching for a child. At Christmas putting up the tree, the stockings and wrapping presents was not something I looked forward to. Instead it was hard for me to do. Because I knew there wouldn't be a child for me to share all the joys with. This is the time of year that makes me cry the most, I used to cry because it hurt so deeply to think about another year past and no baby. And now I cry at almost any Christmas song, Christmas eve service at church, and especially Christmas morning...oh how I longed for this! Most people don't understand the emotional toll it takes to have to have "holiday cheer" when all you want, you know you can't have. The last Christmas I spent crying from a broken heart was in 2003, but even today I remember all the thoughts and hurts from those times. I don't think it's ever something I will forget. Although now I shed tears of joy, I will never forget to pray for all the women dealing with the same emotions and issues that "holiday cheer" brings. "A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit." Proverbs 15:13