I just don't know.....

Sometimes that is all I can say...I just don't know anymore! As easy as it is to say, it's even harder to live! I don't know what to do, who to call for help, who CAN help, am I making the right decision, and so on and so on! It is an internal battle that seems to be a never ending cycle! It is such a helpless feeling, but there is peace, comfort and hope found in the Lord! I know that is easy to say and even harder to live, but it is true! I never knew that I could 100% lean on God, give it all to Him and say "here, You take this and do with it what you will, but help me to be ok in the meantime". He knows you, He knows your heart, He knows His plans for your life and He will make sure His plans come to be...BUT we have to be willing to surrender to Him, give Him our heart, trust Him (and I mean REALLY trust Him) and lean not on our own understanding! He created you, He knows...and He doesn't want you to hurt, He wants you to be the person He designed you to be. But we have to be willing to trust that His plan may not be our plan, but that His plan is PERFECT! There will be many days of 'I just don't know' ahead, but don't lose sight of Him! I used to pour myself into scripture, trying to find a verse to tell God (as if He didn't already know) to prove to Him and myself that I WOULD be a mother...there are SO many scriptures about it, so many that spoke to me in different ways, and SO many that God made tangible! In my haste to prove to God that His word does not come back void, I grew in ways I never could've imagined! My heart was broken, and I mean REALLY broken, and He picked up the pieces one by one, sliver by sliver and made it even more complete than it ever had been! Going through everything that we went through has brought me to a place where I can be thankful! It is so easy to let ourselves get in the "I don't know" dumps, but we have to lay it at His feet and let Him take the lead and we need to simply follow! He loves you, He will come through and stand true to His promises, but we have to be willing to let Him!
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you, not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. You will call to Me,come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and you will find me when you search for me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13